Many years ago, I came up with the idea for a dark Christmas film about an ultra-violent Santa out on the rampage.
Inspired by a magazine picture of a particularly insalubrious-looking gent in the traditional festive garb, it was to be called Watchout – and I even came up with a ho-ho-ho inspired tagline: “Alcoholic. Homicidal. You’d better watchout.”
Sadly, fundamental flaws in the premise soon revealed themselves – if he’s homicidal, the drinking is really just a side-issue, and might even increase his victims’ chances of survival; plus the grammar pedant in me couldn’t get past the fact that “watch out” is actually two words.
I wonder if I was onto something, though, having watched the trailer for Violent Night, which sees the jolly old soul dispensing rough justice with an enthusiasm he more usually reserves for wooden toys and candy canes.
Never mind, I’ve got high hopes for my other idea, about an eight-year-old kid fending off a duo of burglars – Boy in the House by Himself. You’ve got to admit, it’s a catchy title.
New releases
Violent Night
The traditionally avuncular man in red goes full John McClane in this dark action comedy, which sees Stranger Things’ David Harbour join the hallowed ranks of big screen Santas.
When Harbour’s somewhat dissolute St. Nick (“I steer a little but the reindeer do most of the work”) stumbles upon a hostage situation on his nocturnal rounds, he shows the criminal gang just what it really means to be on his naughty list.
Putting the ho-ho-ho into home invasion thriller, this blend of Bad Santa and Die Hard looks like it could go either way from the trailer, though it ought to appeal to those in the market for some more alternative festive fare.
Cert 15, 112 mins | |
Cineworld, Everyman, Vue | |
From Fri Dec 2 | |
More details |
Tori & Lokita
Two young migrants attempt to build a new life in Belgium, but face exploitation at every turn, in this new social realist drama from celebrated directing duo the Dardenne brothers (Two Days, One Night).
Eleven-year-old Tori (Pablo Schils) and 16-year-old Lokita (Joely Mbundu) are pretending to be siblings in order for Lokita to secure her residence papers – but find themselves embroiled in a desperate situation when they agree to sell drugs in order to raise cash to pay off their traffickers.
First-time actors Schils and Mbundu have received huge plaudits for their naturalistic portrayal of the tight-knit duo, while the film’s premiere at this year’s Cannes saw the Dardennes pick up the festival’s special 75th Anniversary award.
Cert 15, 89 mins | |
City Screen | |
From Fri Dec 2 | |
More details |
Summering
‘The end of summer was just the beginning’ – of autumn, presumably – according to the tagline for this US indie coming-of-age tale.
The story follows four girls on the brink of adolescence in the dying days of summer before their move up to middle school, a new chapter in their lives which offers both challenges and the possibility for reinvention.
Before you can say Stand By Me, however, the gang are given a new focus when they discover a dead body in the woods, and resolve to spend their last weekend together trying to solve the mystery of how it got there.
Cert 12A, 85 mins | |
Cineworld, Vue | |
From Fri Dec 2 | |
More details |
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Other screenings
Also new out this week is twisty thriller The Infernal Machine (showing daily at Cineworld and Vue), starring Guy Pearce as a reclusive author pulled into a game of cat-and-mouse when an obsessive fan starts bombarding him with disturbing missives.
Two very different films are celebrating a significant birthday this week – first up, everybody comes back to Rick’s as Casablanca marks 80 years of Bogie, Bergman and some of the most quotable lines in cinema history.
Here’s lookin’ at you, kid – catch it at Cineworld (daily) and City Screen (Fri 2nd, Mon 5th – Thurs 8th).
A mere whipper-snapper at 30, meanwhile, is Batman Returns, the 1992 superhero sequel which saw a slightly nervous Warner Bros give Tim Burton free rein to let his freak flag fly, rocket-launching penguins and all – and a film which has only seen its reputation grow in the modern era of cookie-cutter franchise fare.
It’s even a Christmas film of sorts, too, so it’s the perfect time to power up the Batmobile and head down to Vue on Sat 3rd, Sun 4th and Tues 6th.
There’s more seasonally appropriate action to be found in Warren Miller’s Daymaker (City Screen, Fri 2nd), but there are no stunt doubles involved in this compendium of jaw-dropping skiing and snowboarding escapades on snowy mountain peaks across the globe.
While Daymaker celebrates the natural world in all its breathtaking beauty, new documentary The Oil Machine (City Screen, Weds 7th) is a timely reminder of some of the ways in which we are putting the planet under threat – this in-depth look at humanity’s complex relationship with oil takes in a wide range of perspectives from oil executives to climate activists, and will be followed by a live panel discussion with local action groups and representatives from the film.
Weds 7th also sees a screening of acclaimed trans drama Lingua Franca at City Screen, starring Isobel Sandoval (who also writes and directs) as an undocumented Filipina trans woman who finds work caring for an elderly Russian lady in Brooklyn – only for things to become more complicated when she starts a relationship with the lady’s grandson.
This week’s big music doc celebrates a regular in those best-of-all-time lists: Neil Young: Harvest Time (City Screen, Sun 4th; Everyman, Weds 7th) is an in-depth look at the legendary rocker’s 1972 album, preceded by a recorded introduction from the man himself.
Next, a couple of excellent recent British dramas to flag up: if you missed the captivating father-daughter tale Aftersun in its brief run at City Screen recently, there are a couple of screenings at Cineworld this week on Weds 7th and Thurs 8th – don’t sleep on this one if you’re a fan of the likes of Petite Maman, Boyhood and Eighth Grade.
Meanwhile, literary sort-of biopic Emily is getting another push at Cineworld and Vue this week – I was a bit sniffy about this one when I saw the trailer for it, but having seen the film I’m a total convert; this atmospheric, fictionalised take on the life of Emily Brontë may well have you dusting down your copy of Wuthering Heights afterwards.
Christmas crackers
Pick of the week: Die Hard at Brew York
‘Tis the season to argue about whether the 1988 Bruce Willis classic is or isn’t a Christmas film – and where better to do so than in the relaxed environs of Brew York on Walmgate?
You can cheer John McClane along (perhaps with a half of Goose Willis to hand) in Brew York’s Hoptail Lounge at 6:30pm on Weds 7th – capacity is limited, so early arrival is recommended.
Best of all, the screening is free of charge – if that’s not worthy of an enthusiastic “Yippee Ki Yay, Melon Farmer”, I don’t know what is.
Cert 15, 127 mins | |
Brew York | |
Weds Dec 7, 6:30pm | |
More details |
Other festive treats
The second greatest Christmas film to star Alan Rickman, Love Actually gets its now-annual live orchestra screening at the Barbican on Thurs 8th – tickets range from £45.95 to £74.95 and are available from the Barbican’s website.
Feeling it in their fingers and (most especially) their toes are the stars of The Royal Ballet in ROH Live: The Nutcracker, a live performance of the classic Tchaikovsky ballet being broadcast in all four York cinemas on Thurs 8th.
Younger cinemagoers and (possibly) their parents will be excited to see that the annual CBeebies Panto hits the big screen this weekend – this year it’s the turn of Dick Whittington and His Cat, which you can catch at City Screen and Vue on Sat 3rd and Sun 4th.
There’s a (mostly) festive feel to this week’s budget family-friendly offerings too – City Screen’s Kids’ Club screening is the Benedict Cumberbatch-voiced version of The Grinch (Sat 3rd, tickets £3.00), while Vue have gone for Aardman Animation charmer Arthur Christmas (Sat 3rd, Sun 4th, £2.49); Cineworld are letting the side down with snow-free adventure Tad the Lost Explorer and the Curse of the Mummy (Sat 3rd, Sun 4th, £2.50).
A festive staple in the US which is less well-known here, 1983 comedy A Christmas Story follows a young boy’s determined efforts to get his dream Christmas present, a Red Ryder Range 200 Shot BB gun – it’s showing at City Screen on Sun 4th.
New Ryan Reynolds/Will Ferrell musical caper Spirited continues its bid for seasonal immortality at Everyman this week, showing daily except on Fri 2nd.
Everyman also have screenings of Die Hard and The Polar Express (an animated fantasy about a train that runs on time) on Sun 4th.
Macaulay Culkin is Home Alone at Everyman (Sat 3rd, Weds 7th) and Vue (Sat 3rd, Sun 4th, Thurs 8th), and you can catch up with Asda’s newest recruit Elf at both cinemas this week too – the Will Ferrell favourite shows at Everyman from Mon 5th to Weds 7th (the Wednesday is a Baby Club screening), and at Vue on Sat 3rd, Sun 4th and Weds 7th.
Spooky stop-motion fave The Nightmare Before Christmas also shows at Vue on Sat 3rd and Sun 4th.
And finally, Kermit and co are celebrating 30 years of what for many is the definitive version of the Dickens classic, The Muppet Christmas Carol – it’s showing at Everyman on Sat 3rd and Vue on Sat 3rd and Sun 4th, though hardcore Muppeteers may wish to keep their powder dry for the live orchestral screening at the Barbican next week on Mon 12th.