What would you do for the chance to look young again?
Personally speaking, I find my current approach of sucking my chest in for photos and surreptitiously googling ‘Who is Charli XCX’ during pub conversations works wonders – but Demi Moore takes things a whole lot further in this week’s buzzy new body horror The Substance.
(As a side note, in another bit of inspired where-the-hell-have-you-been casting, it also stars Dennis Quaid, which made me think of Innerspace. No-one talks about Innerspace anymore, do they? Where a mini-Quaid gets injected into Martin Short, flies around his insides and inadvertently cures his hypochondria in the process? Learnt more from that film than in five years of Biology classes.)
Plus, Strange Darling promises thrills and spills, and it’s a Nolan-tastic week for re-releases…
New releases
The Substance
Demi Moore has received plaudits aplenty for her role in this darkly satirical body horror about a fading movie star who takes drastic action to regain her place in the spotlight.
When Oscar-winning actor turned TV fitness guru Elizabeth Sparkle (Moore) is fired from her workout show on her 50th birthday, a mysterious new drug called ‘the Substance’ appears to be the answer to her problems, allowing her to be temporarily reborn as Sue (Margaret Qualley), a younger version of herself – but inevitably, it’s not the quick fix it appears to be.
Director Coralie Fargeat’s out-there tale made a big splash on its premiere at this year’s Cannes Festival, delighting and disgusting audiences with its commitment to exploring new dimensions of wince-making ickiness, summed up by Empire as ‘Showgirls if it were directed by David Cronenberg’. Yikes.
| Cert 18, 141 mins | |
| Cineworld, City Screen, Everyman, Vue | |
| From Fri Sep 20 |
Strange Darling
Much like Barbarian a couple of years ago, this cat-and-mouse thriller arrives seemingly out of nowhere to glowing reviews from those in the know – with no less an authority than Stephen King among those lining up to sing its praises.
It’s also one of those films where it sounds like you’re best off knowing as little as possible when you go into it – suffice to say that it follows a twisted one-night stand which spirals into a serial killer’s vicious murder spree.
Stars Willa Fitzgerald and Kyle Gallner both have form in this area, having appeared in the Scream TV series and 2022’s horror hit Smile respectively. And that’s all you’re getting from me…
| Cert 18, 96 mins | |
| Vue | |
| From Fri Sep 20 | |
| More details |
Other screenings
Family-friendly films
New out this week at Cineworld and Vue, animated adventure 200% Wolf is the sequel to, you guessed it, 100% Wolf, which was sort of like Teenwolf if Michael J. Fox had been a poodle – ‘More like 3% watchable’ is the Guardian’s one-star verdict on this follow-up.
This summer’s Pixar smash Inside Out 2 makes its budget-priced debut at Cineworld on Sat 21st, while Incredible Journey-esque tale Gracie and Pedro screens on Sat 21st and Sun 22nd (tickets £2.50 for all).
Environmental fable Ozi: Voice of the Forest screens in Vue’s Mighty Mornings strand (Sat 21st/Sun 22nd, £2.49), and they’re also continuing their daily screenings of Bluey at the Cinema: Family Trip Collection (£3.99) for younger viewers.
A plucky young mouse heads for the land of the free in immigrant adventure An American Tail, showing in Everyman’s Toddler Club on Fri 20th and Sat 21st (£6.25 child/£8.75 adult plus toddler), while pick of the week goes to City Screen’s Kids’ Club, which continues its Roald Dahl season with a screening of 1996’s stop-motion animated version of James and the Giant Peach (Sat 21st, £3.30), directed by master of the form Henry Selick, aka the man behind The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Batman, Spider-Man, Merman, Luhrmann: old favourites back on the big screen
After the pun-tastic daftness of the Kilmer/Clooney era, the 85th anniversary celebrations of ol’ pointy ears get (why so) serious this week, with Christopher Nolan’s all-conquering Bat-trilogy swooping back into cinemas.
Batman Begins kicks things off at Vue (Vue, Sat 21st, Sun 22nd, Tues 24th), before Heath Ledger causes havoc in The Dark Knight (Cineworld, Sat 21st; Vue, Fri 20th, Sat 21st, Sun 22nd, Weds 25th) and Tom Hardy causes viewers to go, “Sorry, can you repeat that please?” in The Dark Knight Rises (Cineworld, Tues 24th, Weds 25th; Vue, Sat 21st, Sun 22nd, Thurs 26th) – or you can catch all three of them in one go at City Screen on Sun 22nd.
And if that’s not enough Nolan for you, the director’s 2014 space odyssey Interstellar is being re-released for its 10th anniversary – head back through the wormhole at Cineworld (Fri 20th to Mon 23rd, plus Weds 25th), City Screen (Fri 20th, Sat 21st) and Vue (Sat 21st, Sun 22nd, Thurs 26th).
If you prefer your heroes on the smaller side, you can catch that other celebrated noughties trilogy at Vue with screenings of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Sat 21st, Sun 22nd), The Two Towers (Sat 21st, Mon 23rd) and Return of the King (Fri 20th to Sun 22nd, plus Tues 24th).
In a franchise-heavy week, those wishing to spend time in a galaxy far, far away can catch the original Star Wars at Cineworld (Fri 20th to Sun 22nd), then fast-forward to Return of the Jedi at Everyman (Sun 22nd, Tues 24th) and Vue (Fri 20th to Mon 23rd).
Meanwhile, the summer-long trawl through all the live-action Spidey films draws to a close with 2021’s box office behemoth Spider-Man: No Way Home, which saw Tom Holland team up with his arachnid antecedents to the delight of Spider-fans everywhere – get that Peter tingle one last time at Cineworld (Fri 20th to Sun 22nd, Tues 24th, Weds 25th) and Vue (Sat 21st).
Skynet celebrates 40 years of botched assassination attempts with a welcome big screen return for Arnie’s inaugural 1984 outing as The Terminator (Vue, Weds 25th), plus its classic 1991 sequel Terminator 2: Judgment Day (Vue, Fri 20th, Thurs 26th).
With Haley Joel Osment currently back on our screens as part of Channing Tatum’s obnoxious entourage in Blink Twice, you can go back to where it all began for him when The Sixth Sense plays in Everyman’s Late Nights strand on Fri 20th.
Over at City Screen, they’re starting a new season marking 30 years of Searchlight Pictures, the independent-but-not-really arm of the Disney empire specialising in films that hit that sweet spot between the arthouse and the mainstream – epitomised by this week’s offering, The Shape of Water (Sun 22nd), Guillermo del Toro’s brilliant, Oscar-winning fantasy about the romance between a mute cleaner and a merman in 1960s Baltimore.
Their season of 1970s thrillers continues on Mon 23rd with a 50th anniversary screening of The Conversation, Francis Ford Coppola’s clammy-palmed neo-noir starring Gene Hackman as an obsessive surveillance expert who gets in over his head.
And finally, it’s Shakespeare, Baz Luhrmann style as Romeo + Juliet continues City Screen’s celebration of the Bard on film on Sat 21st, powered by crackling chemistry between Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes and a hit-packed soundtrack, including this evergreen earworm from The Cardigans – though the Hot Fuzz version is surely definitive…