There’s a proper clash of the cinematic titans this week: Godzilla vs. Meg!
Before you get too excited, I should clarify: sadly, this does not mean there is a film out this week in which an atomic lizard takes on a prehistoric shark, with a cool-as-a-cucumber Jason Statham caught between them saying things like, “Come on ladies, put your ‘andbags down.”
What I’m actually saying is, there’s a new Godzilla film out and there’s a new Meg Ryan film out; and given that there’s probably a very small overlap in their potential audiences, it’s not really much of a clash either. They’ll both just exist peacefully side by side.
I’ve massively oversold the whole thing and I can only apologise. But if that Statham film does get made a few years down the line, they’d better give me a credit…
New releases
Godzilla Minus One
It seems odd to talk about a Godzilla movie as ‘the little film that could’, but that’s what this latest iteration in the long-running franchise is: made on a fraction of the budget of the average Hollywood blockbuster, this Japanese production has been a surprise box office hit in the US, in a year which has seen a succession of sure-thing superhero flicks struggling to pull in the crowds.
Taking the story back to its origins, the film sees everyone’s favourite fire-breathing uber-lizard rise from the watery depths to lay waste to post-World War II Tokyo – offering disgraced kamikaze pilot Kōichi Shikishima (Ryunosuke Kamiki) the perfect chance at redemption.
Critics and audiences alike are in agreement that this is one of the best Godzilla outings in years, with Time Out’s enthusiastic review hailing the film as ‘heartfelt and often awe-inspiring’, and its eponymous beastie as ‘one scary bastard’.
| Cert 12A, 124 mins | |
| Cineworld, City Screen, Everyman, Vue | |
| From Fri Dec 15 | |
| More details |
The Three Musketeers: Milady
Galloping into cinemas a few months on from its well-received predecessor (The Three Musketeers: D’Artagnan), this concluding instalment of the epic two-part French adaptation of Alexandre Dumas’ classic sees our hero on a desperate quest to save the love of his life.
Picking up where the first film left off, the story follows D’Artagnan (François Civil) as he searches for his beloved Constance (Lyna Khoudri) following her kidnapping – a mission that draws him into an uneasy alliance with the scheming Milady de Winter (Eva Green), and leads to a discovery with life-changing ramifications for his comrade-in-arms Athos (Vincent Cassel).
Impressive reviews suggest that this is another crowd-pleasing slice of old school adventure which delivers on everything you’d want from a Musketeers film – except, perhaps, a toe-tapping earworm of a theme tune. All together now: “One for all and all for one, muskehounds are always ready. One for all and all for one, helping everybody…”
| Cert 12A, 114 mins | |
| City Screen, Cineworld, Vue | |
| From Fri Dec 15 | |
| More details |
What Happens Later
Romcom queen Meg Ryan returns to claim her crown with this tale of two exes unexpectedly thrown back together, which also sees her stepping behind the camera as director.
Ryan stars opposite fellow 90s icon David Duchovny as Willa and Bill, who cross paths for the first time in 25 years when they meet at a regional airport – only to find themselves stuck in limbo courtesy of a well-timed snowstorm.
It’s the perfect opportunity for the pair to rake over the ashes of their relationship and look back at what went wrong all those years ago, just maybe reigniting the sparks of mutual antagonism and attraction along the way…
| Cert 15, 104 mins | |
| Cineworld, Vue | |
| From Fri Dec 15 | |
| More details |
Other screenings
Other new releases and previews
If Russell Crowe thought The Pope’s Exorcist had it in the bag when it came to being crowned this year’s daftest religious-themed film, he might want to think again: showing daily at Cineworld this week, The Shift is a sci-fi reimagining of the Book of Job via the medium of the multiverse.
Also at Cineworld on Sun 17th, Italian drama Monica stars Trace Lysette (of TV’s Transparent) as a trans woman returning home to care for her dying mother.
There’s another chance to catch one of this year’s most highly acclaimed films in the form of romantic drama Past Lives, showing at Cineworld on Fri 16th, while City Screen have a screening of another arthouse highlight in the form of The Eight Mountains (Tues 19th), a contemplative tale of friendship in the Italian Alps.
Plus you can look ahead to some post-Christmas treats with previews of hotly-anticipated (and possibly final) Studio Ghibli adventure The Boy and the Heron (City Screen, Fri 15th), Taika Waititi’s sporting underdog tale Next Goal Wins (Everyman, Mon 18th) and Sofia Coppola’s biopic Priscilla, based on Priscilla Presley’s memoir of her life with Elvis (Everyman, Tues 19th).
Family-friendly films
Kermit and friends are your budget viewing choice at City Screen this week, as The Muppet Christmas Carol screens in their Kids’ Club slot on Sat 16th, followed by an Autism-Friendly screening on Sun 17th (tickets £3.30 for both).
Over at Vue, a jealous Jack Frost spells trouble for Tim Allen in The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (Sat 16th, Sun 17th, £2.49), while Cineworld are offering the 2018 animated version of Dr. Seuss classic The Grinch (Sat 16th, Sun 17th, £2.50), which is somewhat surprisingly the highest-grossing Christmas film of all time – might come in handy as a conversation-starter during awkward pauses over at the in-laws’.
You can catch the live action Jim Carrey version of the tale, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, at Vue on Sat 16th and Sun 17th (tickets standard price, £6.99 to £9.99), while Everyman’s Toddler Club has a screening of charming Aardman animation Arthur Christmas on Fri 15th (£6.10 child, £8.60 adult + toddler).
Vue are also catering to younger viewers with Bing’s Christmas and Other Stories (daily, £3.99) and CoComelon: Best of Christmas (Sun 17th, £3.99).
Christmas crackers
Pick of the week: Nativity! at Spark York
Spark York are getting in the Christmas spirit on Thurs 21st with this screening of the family favourite starring the UK’s premier exporter of bemused affability, Martin Freeman.
Freeman stars as failed-actor-turned-teacher Paul Maddens, who finds himself assigned with running his school’s nativity play – but when a chance encounter with his private school rival causes him to claim that Hollywood have come calling for his am-dram production, his lie swiftly spirals out of control…
Tickets are available at £10 for a table of two, £18 for four and £25 for six, with a free mulled wine or hot chocolate per person included – plus 50% off all additional drinks from the bars – and wearing of festive attire is, of course, encouraged.
| Cert U, 102 mins | |
| Spark York (Piccadilly Tap Terrace) | |
| Thurs Dec 21, 6pm | |
| More details and tickets |
Other festive treats
“Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!”
As the big day gets closer, they’re breaking out the big guns, with Jimmy Stewart’s annual seasonal meltdown returning to cinemas this week: It’s a Wonderful Life is showing at Everyman (Sun 17th, Tues 19th) and City Screen (Weds 20th, Thurs 21st), with a Dementia-Friendly screening also at City Screen on Mon 18th.
Meanwhile, making a spirited bid for entry into the canon of Christmas classics is, well, Spirited, last year’s Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds team-up, back in cinemas for sing-along screenings at Cineworld (Mon 18th) and Vue (Fri 15th, Sun 17th).
It’s got some work to do before it catches up with that other Will Ferrell movie, which seems a particularly prolific presence in its 20th anniversary year: catch Elf at City Screen (Mon 18th), Cineworld (Sat 16th, Sun 17th), Everyman (daily except Sat 16th and Tues 19th) and Vue (daily except Weds 20th).
And celebrating more than three decades of shameful parental negligence is that pesky Culkin kid, fending off the Wet Bandits both at home (Home Alone: Cineworld, daily except Tues 19th; Everyman, daily except Fri 15th and Weds 20th; Vue, Sat 16th, Sun 17th) and away (Home Alone 2: Lost in New York: Cineworld, Sat 16th, Sun 17th; Vue, Sat 16th to Mon 18th).
Dickensian delights and cheerful tunes are the order of the day in The Muppet Christmas Carol (Everyman, Sat 16th, Weds 20th; Vue, Sat 16th, Sun 17th), while romcom nirvana is guaranteed at Everyman with screenings of Love Actually (Fri 15th, Sat 16th) and The Holiday (Sat 16th, Tues 19th, Weds 20th, Thurs 21st).
If all that’s not enough to get you in the festive mood, then go for the nuclear option with screenings of Andre Rieu’s White Christmas at Vue and none-more-Christmassy ballet The Nutcracker at City Screen, both on Tues 19th.
Over on the cultier side of things, those devilish Gremlins are back to wreak seasonal havoc at Everyman on Fri 15th, while the same day sees Billy Bob Thornton exposing the extremely lax vetting processes of American department stores in Bad Santa at Cineworld; and of course, Bruce is on hand to give Alan Rickman what for in Die Hard at Everyman on Fri 16th and Thurs 21st – the latter is a morning Baby Club screening, which I presume will be using the “Yippee Ki Yay, melon farmer!” version of the text.
And finally, a couple of not strictly festive, but nonetheless welcome treats at City Screen: their food-themed season A Festive Feast continues on Sun 17th with 1985 Japanese comedy Tampopo, billed as the first ‘ramen Western’ due to its noodle-centric plot, while Sat 16th offers an epic movie marathon in the form of the entire The Lord of the Rings trilogy, showing all three films in their extended editions – the perfect choice if you’re looking for another excuse to put off starting your Christmas shopping.