Ten A* tips to surviving your first term at big school

6 Sep 2015 @ 8.05 pm
| Education

Hi, I’m Imogen and I’m 13 years old. I started secondary school two years ago – which makes me an old pro.

I’m sharing my insider tips to arm you with the necessary urban knowledge to help you survive your first days in year 7.

1. Don’t trust year 11s


They’re likely to prank unsuspecting newbies with false directions and tripping you up.

2. Don’t panic


Big school is, err, very big. It’s easy to get lost in your first days.

Study your map carefully but don’t worry too much. Most teachers give you a little extra time when you’re new.

Just remember to not ask year 11s if you get lost.

3. Win friends and influence people


Tell a joke. Like “Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? Because she couldn’t control her pupils”. Smile – like the Mona Lisa.

Be yourself – the one exception being admitting ever to liking One Direction!

4. Avoid low-flying apple pies


The school bus can be a riotous maximmus. The excitement of travelling from school back to your personal sanctuary can entail pack-up left overs and food technology failures being tossed around.

5. Don’t do your homework on the bus


The jittery handwriting and speed-bump detours by your pen are total give-aways. Plus, you might get apple pie splatted on it.

6. PE stands for ‘Personal ’Ell’

Girls of St. Trinian's - St. Trinian's (c) 2009 NeoClassics Films Ltd.

Embrace your inner Jessica Ennis or Mo Farrah on sub-zero cross-country runs. The most important thing, however, is remembering to keep your clothes together at all costs.

You do *not* want to end up with someone else pants.

7. Don’t eat the custard

Shark infested custard. From Matt Friston on Flickr

It is a culinary crime and every bit as bad as the year 11s say. Plus, nobody has ever worked out what those lumps really are.

8. Learn to forge your parent’s signature, on the bus


Weekly planner not signed? No problem. Use the jitters of the number 1 bus to add authenticity to your script.

9. Playtime is not playtime anymore

No ‘tig’, ‘stuck in the mud’ or ‘girls vs boys’ – it’s madness!

You’re either hangin’, photobombing your mates’ selfies or having a kickabout.

10. But home time is still home time

Always the best part of the day.